Sell Resources

would you mind checking my grammar or give any comment?

In order to concentrate on my studying, I only did a few volunteers or paid jobs for short terms. For example, I joined the Terry Fox Run and school Basketball events; I helped to organize the store output in the Salvation Army-a second-hand store; I collected the fundraising money for Heart and Stroke Foundation; and sometimes, I offered a little help in my community’s women’s resource center and in my friend’s hair salon. From all these experiences, I learned the importance of problem-solving, customer relations-maintaining, and decision-making. Most of my study life, I lived outside with my friends, I learned the importance of caring, tolerating and independence. In addition to help my friends, I tutored Mathematics and baby-sited for more than three years. This helped me to develop my patience, circumspection, and imaginations.

Public Comments

1. Baby sat instead of (baby -sited) I just glanced over and noticed this. By the way...you're hired!
2. As I needed to concentrate on my studies, I did only a few voluntary or paid jobs on a short term basis. For example, I joined the Terry Fox Run and school Basketball events; I helped to organize the store output in the Salvation Army second-hand store; I collected donations for Heart and Stroke Foundation; and occasionally helped out in my community’s women’s resource center and in my friend’s hair salon. From all these experiences, I learned the importance of problem-solving, good customer relations, and decision-making. During most of my student life, I lived outside with my friends, thus learning the importance of caring, tolerance and independence. In addition to helping my friends, I tutored Mathematics and baby-sat for more than three years. This helped me to develop patience, circumspection, and imagination.
3. imagination..baby sat....and being independent(instead of independence) i only had a few vounteer jobs and/or paid jobs for short periods of time. I joined the Terry Fox Run and also helped out at school basketball events. Ina ddition to helping my friends... It was really good! good luck
4. (1) basketball need not be capitalized & use a comma after "events" (2)after Salvation Army use a comma, not a hyphen & a period after store. (3)after Heart & Stroke Foundation use a period. (4)start a new sentence beginning with the word Sometimes,etc. (5)I would say maintaining customer relations & no hyphen between problem solving & decision & making. (6)babysat not babysited. babysat is one word. **In your first sentence, I would reword it to say, "I held a few volunteer jobs & paid jobs for short terms.**